Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Worst Country And Western Song Titles - And the Losers Arent..


20 ‘You’re Out Doing What I’m Here Doing Without’ (Gene Watson)

19 ‘Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I’ll Think You’re Walking In’ (Bill Anderson)

18 ‘How Can a Whiskey Six Years Old Whip a Man That’s Thirty-Two?’ (Norma Jean)

17 ‘My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him’ (Phil Earhart)

16 ‘One Day When You Swing That Skillet, My Face Ain’t Gonna Be There’ (Richard Hardwick)

15 ‘How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away?’ (Dan Hicks)

14 ‘She Broke My Heart, I Broke Her Jaw’ (Rick Stanley and Lookout Mountain)

13 ‘Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed’ (Kinky Friedman)

12 ‘You’re the Hangnail in My Life, and I Can’t Bite You Off’ (Hoyt Axton)

11 ‘I’ve Got Tears in My Ears From Lying on My Back in Bed While I Cry Over You’ (Homer & Jethro)

10 ‘You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly’ (Loretta Lynn)

9 ‘Her Eyes Say Yes But the Restraining Order Says No’ (Hit the Lights)

8 ‘I’m at Home Getting Hammered (While She’s Out Getting Nailed)’ (Banjo & Sullivan)

7 ‘Get off the table, Mabel, the Two Dollars is for the Beer’ (Bull Moose Jackson)

6 ‘Jesus Loves Me But He Can’t Stand You’ (Austin Lounge Lizards)

5 ‘I Went to Bed at Two with a Ten and Woke Up at Ten with a Two’ (Willie Nelson)

4 ‘I’m Messed Up in Mexico, Livin’ on Refried Dreams’ (Tim McGraw)

3 ‘The Last Word in Lonesome is Me’ (Roger Miller)

2 ‘If My Nose Was Running Money, I’d Blow It All On You’ (Mike Snider)

And the Numero Uno, the one and only.............

1 ‘I’ve Been Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Heart’ (Johnny Cash).

To think most of these songs have done their time in the Top 10/100 lists, and have been chartrunners is a brilliant commentary on our times. Well, to each his own. Atleast these are worth some laughs. Adios, and here's a thought. This one didn't quite make the list..

Do You Wanna Touch Me?(Oh Yeah) by Gary Glitter

With lyrics that go..‘Do you wanna touch me there? Where? There! Yeah! Oh!’.

And they said my jokes were bad.